Overwhelmed. Confused. Yet Hoping.

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Its been awhile since I last blogged my thoughts and my happenings in my life. Same old same old story of me – school, work and very little play since its the exams period. Good news is that its ending soon though. Next Thursday. Perhaps, when you read this all over again, Nabil, you’ll remember that you’re blogging this from the huge Samsung Tab 2.0, seated at the edge of your bed at 0200H on a Friday.
*deep sigh*

Things have moved on fast. Perhaps the progress has been a little tad too quick and i, to be honest, am.overwhelmed. Eversince my break up with H., like a month ago, things have been….smooth sailing. Do I miss H? Of course I do. I miss people whom I care for even when they are not around. Guys, girls, old people, pets or even beautiful places…. I miss them. Perhaps, you are the only one reading this blog besides me H, and I just want to let you know how amazing you’ve been on all our happy and fun times. Looking back, perhaps it was the best decision that we parted. I felt more at peace not having the need to constantly feel that you’re secretly texting other guys with “XOXOs” and whatnots. Hahaha!

Anw, despite it being less than a month since my break up, having a couple of girls confessing and one even calling me her “other half”, is pretty scary. To me at least. I treated these girls as I would any other day and time over messages and meet ups. Nothing special. But what is surprising is that when these girls start taking me too seriously as some potential BF material or heck, “Other Half” material. Certainly im overwhelmed with all the LIKES & LOVE received from these many attractive member of the opposite sex, but…this heart isn’t ready. This heart isn’t ready to love that one special girl and keep her safe from harm and all.

To add the cherry at the top – A friend trying to “match make” me with his (I must admit, pretty) cousin from KL, citing I’ve got “experience”. Hahaha. And another, wants to introduce me to her Chinese-Indonesian friend. Yet at the same time replying to these couple of girls on whatsapp daily. Man, I have too much on my plate. And oh, my other good friend wants to hook me up with Bandung girls (you know the fair skinned, beautiful eyes and hair kind). Its just….wow. Indeed I’m  overwhelmed. 

But im confused. Cause despite having such attention from them ladies and friends, and some getting a little serious here, I still have my sights and I don’t know, hopes, on my crush of over 3 years. Good thing is that she’s single (im guessing) and we are in the midst of planing a simple makan meet up. I just want to give and find myself that chance to go out with her and show her who I truly am. Im more than my FB profile/pics, twitter and its tweets or instagram photos etc.

I want to get to know her, and for her to get to know me.

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But these constant messaging makes me dig myself deeper into the pit hole and im afraid if i might fall for one of them without having the chance to get to know my crush. I mean, meeting up doesn’t mean anything or will lead to anythjng, but at least I would be truly happy that at least I gave it a shot in life…. Wouldn’t want to regret and having those WHAT IFs nonsense.

I don’t expect too much but I never stop hoping. If its meant to be, it will be. Its destiny. Perhaps, for now, we’d be just miles apart, but im praying that we’ll meet in our dreams. Cliché, Touché & a sprinkle of Cheesiness but deep down inside, I wonder if she ever feels the same way too.

Well, I never stop praying to God, asking Him to guide me and help me find/choose the right one. Amin.

Time check: 0230H. Its back to my notes. Good day/night, future Nabil.