A minute of anger kills 60 seconds of happiness.

“Don’t expect any thing from any one, expectations always hurt . Expect everything from Allah. He will fulfill you wishes .” – Unknown.

Wise words. Perhaps, just perhaps, I was expecting too much from people. Anyways, so many thoughts racing through my heart and mind. But i guess its all getting clearer now and I’m feeling better. Too many cliche quotes in this post. Eeee. Hahaha!

And i’m sorry but the previous post is privatised. It had to be. Ask and perhaps i’ll consider.

Dear God, please calm my soul.

Love,

Me

Protected: Drained and Powerless

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Letting go of Ego.

” Instead of preserving your ego and letting go of the relationship, let go of the ego and preserve the relationship.” 

Egos are a deadly. They destroy relationships, friendships, network and even love. All men have ego. The degree and intensity of the ego then lies in the individual. Some small and negligible, others huge like a big ass Hiroshima bomb, ready to wipe out the very existence of things which threatens their pride. Being in a loving relationship is a challenge. Yes, most times there’ll be the romantic, lovely dovey, intimate stuffs. But also, along that comes with it is EGO.

I admit, I’m a man of great ego.

When I was younger, I can NEVER lose. I didn’t like to lose. I MUST win. Along the way, as I get older, such traits and characteristics still linger in my system. However, due to experiences and interaction with people have made me aware that this THING called ego gets me no where. Yes, at the moment in time, we might get things done our way, get what we want, feel that we have “won” an argument etc… When actually, we have lost the very people who respected us and trusted us. They giving in to us was very much different from me winning them.

Fast forward to a couple of years, I’m now 25 this year, and I know how it feels like to be shut out from my own opinions and letting the other party “win” it. Its a strange and funny feeling deep down in my heart cause I feel the need to prove the other party wrong but at the same time, I question myself – WHAT DO I WIN? Perhaps the argument or  petty discussion on what to wear, what is the next MRT station and what guys think or do. As much as I feel I am right, being in a relationship requires a lot of patience, trust and respect. Small things like these does not have to be blown into enormous proportions and I should just let it pass. After all, a thing like EGO certainly does not need to be preserved in a relationship.

Loving someone, to me, means putting aside the ego and work towards a better future. Egos hurt people and if you truly love someone, you would try and minimize such hurt – be it physically, emotionally or spiritually.

What it means like to LOVE for men.

I’m no doctor love, but lately, its been apparent to me that no matter how tight my game is with the ladies while courting them, when it comes to the real deal of falling in love, this…this feeling just fucks up my system.

I’m not saying that I fool around and lead the ladies hopes up high on dates, but you know the feeling when you can connect with one person, emotionally, intellectually and at times, spiritually. It sends signals to your brain and it gets wired up in there. I’ve had my fair share of dates. Going out with women of different backgrounds, culture and looks. It is not a secret that when on dates, we should be entirely focused with our date and during the courtship period, we must learn not to be overly expressive with emotions, making us look so needy. But most times, when this thing called “love” starts to develop, it screws our “game” over.

Thing is, when we are in love and loving someone, I believe in this showing of affectionate to our partner. Not because its a “relationship thing” to do, but we’ll never know what could happen an hour, a day, after we part. We ought to give love and affection where love and affection is due. However not to the extent of being overly needy and creepy and possessive. That sucks. And we just gotta do what we feel is right in our heart, at that moment. Say it, cause we’ll never know if we will get to say it once more.

Although actions speaks louder than words, when apart, communication is vital and expressing one’s love for another just goes to show how much we care for them. As much as I try to play it cool, act nonchalant and be alpha, deep down, I feel the need to express myself. Sometimes I feel stupid saying the cheesy and cliche things to the one I love. At times, feel sad when they don’t respond to those sweet sayings. But its okay I guess. Different people, have different way of expressing. We just gotta learn to adapt to the relationship.

Trust, respect and putting down our ego goes a very long way in a relationship. Its never easy to be with someone who is “sought after” by other people as well nor be with someone who’s approach to family matters is somewhat different from yours. But what’s harder is putting our man ego aside and look beyond “what we want” and looking at “what’s good/better for the relationship.”.

Love affects us in many ways, unfathomable by us sometimes. Being in love changes the way we live our life, how we make time for our loved one, how we learn to adapt to changes in circumstances and also makes us work more to work things out even she if thinks she is right.

Afterall, your ego will be the reason you lose everything that matters most to you.

Do you know the music man?

Women. Just how do they attract us, men, without the attraction? Like fucking magnets. All they have to do is to act all pretty and cute and for some, downright sexy and yes, I’d be swoon over. Well, for the moment at least. Lustful thoughts in my mind? Not really. But the idea to be able to talk to them and see how things could work out – you’ll never know what it could bring – often plays in my head.

Forget cheesy or cliche pick up lines I’d say. Women in my country are so adversed to people approaching them. Its a general culture in my country which thinks that men who do are either (1) selling them some donation, (2) a serial rapist or (3) Steven Lim. Either which, if you are not (2) or (3), you actually still have a shot at approaching and talking to women. The way I see it, there are 2 kinds of guys out there – the Natural, the  Player and the downright Ugly.

Im not gonna talk about the breakdown of these 3 groups. Because, honestly, I cant be bothered. My life’s been nothing short of ups and downs and side ways at times. Its all about them girls. Young and old, slim and sexy kind, pretty faces galore. OMG. Its temptation paradise.

But wait, some people would then ask “So what? Its not as if you’re dating them all or etc, arent you?” 

True to a certain extent though. But then again, dont you wish you could date them all? Men’s natural instinct is to overcome challenges. Thats why we are build with more muscles and such. And when we complete a challenge we feel great about ourselves. Its a feel-good inducer. But dammit, some women/girls play too hard to get and that sucks. It turns us off. Because honestly, theres another pretty face round the corner who would be willing to put down their pride and not be an asshole and play too hard to get. Bitch please, when you grow older, you probably wont look as good as you were. Guy’s value increases as we get older all because we would be the ones having to look after you women.

What the fuck am i ranting about? Oh yeah, women. Love them or hate them, they’ll gonna be around. You gotta play your game tight and smooth.

But here’s a word of advice: Pretty faces come and go. 

Good night, good fight.

Honestly, its not easy being me. Cliche you might say, but its true.  Perhaps, its just me that I crave the attention of people showering down upon me. Especially women. I mean, seriously which man doesn’t? Less you’re gay or some pious guy who spends 16 hours in your place of worship or like one of those Tibetan monks. Damn, they are so darn cool living up in the mountains away from all the smog and politics of the bustling city life. This is me – the confused cosmopolitan. One side wants to be closer to peace and serenity and “in the arms of God” while the other half crave the deadly sins.

Wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. 

Perhaps not in any order but you get the idea. Often when the sinful part of me kicks in my head, I’m left with the dilemma of being right or being me. Unleashing the inner desires in me. O hell hath no fury. I know. But we live life once and although I believe in eternal life after death, the thought of waiting ever so long to reach it seemed to be killing me inside. Women, especially. They shaped and is still shaping me.

I just needed a platform to voice out my thoughts proper rather than tweet about it. The troubles, hard decisions and problems in life are sometimes meant to be channeled out of my system. The issues concerning women, the chase for success and sexual encounters are indeed fascinating. But deep down, it hurts to know that we cannot get what we want ultimately…

That elusive, ideal woman, all men dream about.